Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
