Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I didn't notice because vodka
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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