I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
