this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
