My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
