Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
