oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
