It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
