I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
