Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
