Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
