my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
