The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
