my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
