at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
