i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
