A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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