the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
