I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
