What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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