Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
