She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
