what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
