Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
