Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
