I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
