Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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