do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
