So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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