You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
sarcasm needs its own font
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
