STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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