I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
