your room smells of hookers.
And success
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He did a backflip because drugs
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
