Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
