M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
