in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
