This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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