question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
