I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
