Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize