I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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