dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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