But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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