He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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