"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
