After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
