Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
