I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just had sex bonerless
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
