is your mom at the bar?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
