he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize