My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
