Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize