ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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