Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
