So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize