Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
