Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize