he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
