I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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