hotel room ftw
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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