1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
What a fucking waste of an outfit
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Randomize