So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
