why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
