worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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